Behind the Scenes Yaoi
by Klonoa
Summary: ff.net took this off... so I changed the title... it kind of means the same thing... I think. ^^;;The Ultimate Great Moth.
1. The Heart of the cards

****

Episode One: The Heart of the Cards

Director: Come on people hurry up we have to get ready. Yugi! Yami! Stop making out!

Y+Y: Aww…

K: You too Ryou and Bakura.

Ryou: Aww…

Bakura: Curses.

D: Seto! Jounouchi!

Seto+Jou: *grumbling*

D: Come on everyone ready!

[Joey and Yugi dueling]

Anzu: You guys are taking too long.

Yugi: That isn't your line.

Anzu: *shrugs* It's true.

Yugi: …it's only been three minutes.

Anzu:…

D: *sighs*

[Honda wanders by]

Honda: Aww isn't he cute when he's thinking. *Hugs Jou*

Jou: *eyes wide* 

Seto: *runs over and punches Honda out*

Everyone: O__o;

D: Kaiba… cut!

[Jou finally plays a card]

Jou: Pretty good move, huh, Yugi!

Yugi: *Yami takes over*

Yami: 800/400 that sucks! *Laughs insanely*

Jou: ;__;

D: Yami!

[About the game shop]

Yugi: My grandpa has a game shop, and I get all my best cards from him.

Jou: Your own game shop?!

Yugi: You didn't know? What kind of friend are you?! *Runs out crying*

Yami: *comes in* You hurt my aibou! 

Jou: Uh oh.

Seto: *stands in front of Yami but Yami knock him out*

Jou: Oh boy. *Runs away screaming while Yami chases him*

Yugi: *in front of camera grinning and holding the victory sign*

D: Yugi…

[Super rare card]

Yugi: Maybe I could even get my grandpa to show us this super-rare card he's got.

Seto: Rare card? Could they have found the card I've been looking for?

Honda: How would you know? Isn't there tons of rare cards?

Seto: You know I haven't forgiven you from the few scenes ago.

Honda: *shuts up*

[At the game shop]

Grandpa: The Blue Eyes White Dragon. So rare, so powerful, I never let it leave my hands.

Honda: Hmm. *leans over and takes it*

Grandpa: *grabs a cane* Give it back you damn hooligan! *Hit's Honda with the cane*

Everyone: O__o;

D: -___- cut…

[Kaiba comes in]

Seto: Can it be?

Yugi: Maybe. 

Seto: What's that suppose to mean?

Yugi: What do you think?

Seto: Are you trying to confuse me?!

Yugi: Maybe.

Seto: Why are you saying that?!

Yugi: What do you think?

Seto: Arrgh! *Pulls at his hair*

D: Yugi quit messing with his head!

[Buying]

Seto: Name you price. I can pay anything you ask.

Yugi: How about all your money and your mansion and your company.

Seto: …

Yugi: You did say anything.

Seto: *mutters* stupid script.

Yugi: I want my money, mansion and company!

Everyone: O___o

[Seto in the limo]

Seto: Heart in the cards, ridiculous. These… Jou what are you doing here?

Jou: Isn't it break time?

Seto: No.

Jou: Oh. *Shrugs then tackles Seto, kissing him*

D: Katsuya, Jounouchi!

[The next day, gang is walking to the Game shop]

Joey: I hope he has some cool cards today.

Yugi: Nah. It's grandpa's porno day.

Everyone: O__o

Jou: Guys or girls?

Yugi: Both.

Jou: Let's go!

Everyone: O__o;

Yugi: I'd rather see a magazine of Yami.

Yami: I can arrange that!

Everyone: o___O;

Yugi: ^__^

[The phone call]

Yugi: Hello, Game Shop!

Seto: Ah, Yugi perfect.

Yugi: *hangs up*

*Phone rings*

Yugi: *picks up* Hello.

Seto: I have your…

Yugi: *hangs up again*

*Phone rings*

Yugi: *picks up* Hello.

Seto: I have Yami!

Yugi: What?

Seto: I just said that so you wouldn't…

Yugi: *hangs up*

D: Yugi!

[Seto tears up the Blue eyes]

Grandpa: Your… Blue Eyes… White Dragon?

Seto: *looks at it* Damn!

Mokuba: Seto!

Seto: *mumbles*

Yami: *laughing off set*

Seto: -___-

[Grandpa wants Yugi to teach Seto a lesson]

Yugi: But Grandpa, you need help. I've got to get you to a doctor!

Seto:…

D: Seto?

Seto: My line's to long.

Yami+Bakura: *laughing*

D: Just say it.

Seto: It's too long.

Yugi: *smirks* Is that an excuse because you forgot your line.

Seto: …

Everyone: *laughing*

Seto: *turns red from embarrassment*

[Everyone wants Yugi to duel]

Jou: We can take card of your grandpa while you take care of creepy Kaiba.

Seto: Wouldn't you like to take care of me puppy.

Jou: *turns red*

Yugi:… I'd rather take care of Yami.

Yami: Me too.

D:…cut.

[Still trying to convince Yugi]

Jou: Trust me, you're like that best player I've seen and you got the Millennium Puzzle. You can do this Yugi.

Yami: *from off set* Yeah you got me aibou!

D:… shouldn't you be in the puzzle?

Yami: …right. *Disappears*

D: *wacks head with the clipboard* Break!

Everyone: Yeah! *Runs off set while Yami reappears by Yugi*

Yami: *picks Yugi up* We'll be in our trailer.

Yugi: *giggles*

D: *sighs then sees Seto pushing Jou into a closet and Ryou and Bakura making out on the floor while the others were getting a drink, talking or resting* To many guys are gay and insatiable around here.

[Break over]

D: Okay everyone places! Where are Yugi and Yami?!

*Yugi and Yami enter the studio hair all messy and clothing are messed or backwards* 

D: Yugi your jacket's on backwards.

Yugi: *looks down then blushes putting his jacket back on correctly*

D: Okay places and… action!

[The evil smiley face]

Anzu: Everyone put your hands together, and I'll mark us with a special sign. *Draws a smiley face on their hands*

Yugi: *eyes go teary* Yami! Anzu drew on my hand!

Yami: *comes out then strangles Anzu* Don't you draw on his hand again.

D: Yami!

[After…the drawing]

Anzu: It's a symbol of our friendship, so when Yugi's dueling, no matter how tough it gets he'll know that he's not alone.

Yugi: Of course I'm not alone I have Yami.

Anzu: That not what I meant.

Yugi: *teary eyed again* Are you trying to take my Yami away?

Anzu: Yes… opps.

Yugi: *cries*

Yami: *appears then slaps Anzu silly* I don't like you woman don't you say that to my aibou!

Bakura: *walks over to the director* Aren't you going to stop this?

D: Hmm… I'm going to allow this. Yami looks better with Yugi any way.

Bakura: Okay…women.

[Dueling time]

Seto: Are you ready to play runt?

Yugi: *bottom lip quivers*

Seto: O___O it's only part of the script Yugi!

Yami: *already out and tackles Seto* 

D: __ Yami!!

[Challenging Yugi]

Seto: Ah! What the…! *blinks* Yami you have no shirt.

Yami: *looks down* Whoops.

Anzu: *drools*

Yugi: *appears and knocks Anzu out with a frying pan* My Yami!

D: Uh…

Yugi: We don't need her for the rest of the episode.

D: Hmm… you're right.

Anzu: X__x

[They start playing]

Seto: It's my virtual simulator. It creates life-like holograms of every Duel Monster.

Yami: So this is how you beat my grandfather!

Yugi: What's the difference between playing cards and playing on a simulator.

Yami: *shrugs* I didn't write the script.

D: Guys…

[Jou comes running in]

Jou: Wha? Monsters? Real monsters?

Celtic Guardian: *from off set* I'm real!

D: We don't need you right now!

C. G.: So? I want to watch.

D: *twitching*

[Seto just used Saggi the Dark Clown with the Negative Energy Generator]

Seto: As you can see, combining cards can be very effective.

Yami: Duh. I'm older than you are and I was around when this game was invented.

Seto: Which was?

Yami: 5000 years (I know it's 3000 but I like 5000 better) ago.

Seto: O___O

Yugi: I love him anyway.

Yami: ^__^

D: You guys are way off topic.

[The actually part of the response]

Yami: He's good. He knows every aspect of this game.

Seto: I know.

Yami: I was being sarcastic.

Seto: -__-

[Seto beating Yami for now]

Yami: My grandpa is a great man and a better duelist than you'll ever be. He entrusted me with his cards, and I can feel his heart in this deck I doubt you have that kind of faith in you cards, Kaiba and blah blah blah.

Seto: Ha! He forgot his lines.

D: No he didn't he said the whole thing.

Yami: *smirks*

Seto: *grumbles*

D: Why did you add in blah blah blah?

Yami: The line was too long.

D: -____-

[Kaiba draws a card]

Seto: This'll be over sooner than you think. *Draws* I call on the Blue Eyes White Dragon! *Plays card*

Yami: This is strange how can he say the name when he hasn't even seen the card.

Seto: I agree. 

D: Don't ask me I didn't write the script.

Yami+Seto: You didn't?

D: I'm only the director.

Y+S: So?

D:…

[After…]

Seto: Surprised? Did you think that your grandfather was the only one to possess a Blue Eyes White Dragon?

Yami: Considering there are four in the world, no.

Seto: Stick to the script.

Yami: Hmm… no.

D: Yami…

[Grandpa's strange]

Grandpa: For someone claiming to have faith, you're giving up too easily, Yugi.

Yugi: What is that suppose to mean?

Yami: Maybe he knows. 

Yugi: But I thought we hid it from his really well. 

Grandpa: Hid what?

Yugi: Nothing. (They meant by hiding their relationship from grandpa.)

[Grandpa explains about the puzzle]

Yami: Ah, like the Millennium Puzzle?

Grandpa: Exactly. Each piece helps build a greater entity…

Yugi: And a greater sex-machine.

K: Yugi! Personal lives off the set!

[Yami plays Swords of Revealing Light]

Kaiba: Though neither dragon can move for one more turn, my next card is the third Blue Eyes White Dragon! *BEWD attacks*

Yami: Mirror Force!

*All BEWD gone*

Seto: O___O

D: Yami you weren't suppose to use that!

Yami: *shrugs*

[Seto is taunting Yami]

Seto: It's over Yugi. You were never a match for me.

Yami: *puts down Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon*

Seto: O___O *watches his BE's get destroyed*

D: Yami!

Yami: What?

[Yami explaining]

Yami: Kaiba had three Blue Eyes White Dragons all along. He only wanted Grandpa's card so it could never be used against him. This is stupid I already know about them last series.

D: This is a rewrite the old series isn't showing.

Yami: I liked the old series there's more action and I drive people insane.

D: I liked it too but to bad.

Yami: *pouts* And Kaiba wasn't as tall in it either.

Yugi: *giggles* And he had green hair.

Seto: -___-

[Exodia!]

Seto: Exodia! It's not possible! No one's ever been able to call him!

Yami: Then why did you make a hologram of him?

Seto: *shrugs* Just in case.

D:…

[Yami's freaky speech]

Yami: You play only for power, Kaiba, and that is why you lost, but if you put your heart in the game, there is nothing you can't do… this speech is stupid.

D: Yami stop ruining it!

[Kaiba get freaked out]

Seto: But…but how? How could I have lost to him?!

Yami: Kaiba, if you truly want to know, open your mind!

Seto: Nah.

Yami: Then I'll take your soul.

Seto: O____O okay! Okay!

D: Stop it Yami!

[Finally]

D: Wrap it up people!

Yugi: Yah! We get to go home! *glomps Yami*

*Everyone is leaving the studio*

D: *about to close the door* Did I forget something?

Yugi: I don't think so.

D: Okay. *Closes door*

Anzu: *wakes up* Why is it dark? Where is everyone? *Studio light falls on her* X___x


	2. The Gauntlet is Thrown

The Gauntlet is Thrown 

****

D: *opens door and sees Anzu* Was she here all night? Oh well.

*Everyone else comes in*

Yami: What happened to her? *arm around Yugi's waist*

Bakura: Who cares. *Goes to his dressing room* 

D: Whatever chop, chop people!

All: *grumbling but goes to their places*

[Jou against Anzu]

Honda: Jou make a move already!

Jou: Kay, here you go, tough guy. My Rock Ogre's going to rock your block off!

Yugi: That doesn't sound right.  
  
Honda: Well this is a kid's show so they wouldn't know.

Yugi: But older people will know and some scenes are getting cut out in America.

Jou: Like what?

Yugi: You and Honda watching Mai when she showers. (They actually do that I saw a pic of it… I think it was either Mai or Anzu.)

Jou: Why would I want to do that?

Yugi: It's in the script.

Jou: Stupid script… if it were Kaiba that's a whole different story.

[Anzu beats Jou]

Honda: You stink at this game.

Yami: Yeah you do!

Jou: Yug back me up.

Yugi: Well you do.

Jou: ;__; and you're supposed to be my best friend.

Yugi: Who says?

Jou: O___o

[Yugi sits on the bars outside of school, talking to Jou]

Jou: What is it, Yugi? Why can't I ever win? Teach me what I'm doin' wrong.

Yugi: Why? You don't pay attention in class so why should I try to explain?

Jou: I'll listen!

Yugi: *sighs but starts to explain then notices Jou had fallen asleep* I told him but nooo…

[Actually staying awake]

Yugi: Duel Monsters is all about combining your monster cards with your magic cards to increase their strength. With no magic in your deck, your monsters will get creamed every time.

Jou: *grabs Yugi by the shoulders but only to get punched by Yami*

Yami: Don't touch him!

D: Why oh why…?

[Jou on the floor]

Jou: Please, Yugi, help me convince him! I will work hard, I promise!

Yugi: Only if you grovel to me slave. *Laughs evilly*

Ryou: Yugi sounds a lot like you yami.

Bakura: Yeah his laugh is sending chills down my spine.

[Dueling is hard]

Yugi: Listen, Jou, teaching you Duel Monsters is too big a challenge, even for my grandpa.

Jou: I'm not that bad.

Yugi: Yes you are.

Jou: And I thought you'd say it more gently.

Yugi: Nah, you just plain stink at the game.

Jou: ;___;

[Television]

Announcer: Good evening, duel fans, and our ten million viewers at home, and welcome to the Duel Monsters Duel Dome, where tonight the Duel Monsters regional championship… wait I have some news folks. Since Yugi Mutou had defeated Seto Kaiba he is now regional champion.

Weevil+Rex: What?!

Yugi: *dancing around* I'm the champion! I'm the champion!

All: …

D: What was that?!

C.G. (Kisho): *shrugs*

D: Why are you here?

Kisho: *shrugs*

D: -___-

[Kisho the Celtic Guardian is strange…]

Announcer: Of the two hundred duelists that have competed in this marathon tournament… *hearing a thump* Yugi Mutou is declared winner, everyone else sucks!

Weevil+Rex: O___o What?!

Anzu: Where's Yugi?

All: *look where Yugi was* 

Honda: Didn't that announcer guy sound like Yugi?

All:…

[The box]

Grandpa: Oh, by the way, Yugi this package came in the mail for you.

Yugi: A package? What is it, gramps?

Grandpa: What do I look like your maid?

Yugi: No **I **looks like this. *holds a piece of paper with the capital **I*** 

All: O___o;

(I love that it's from Dexter's Lab)

[The package]

Yugi: is it possible they heard I beat the world champion?

Anzu: Isn't it supposed to be regional champion?

Yugi: * shrugs* Seto's right this script is stupid.

D: ARRGH!!

[The game]

Announcer: Ohh, and Raptor plays the strongest card in his deck—the terrible Two-Headed King Rex!

Rex: That's not my strongest card!

Announcer: It isn't?

Rex: Grrr… *throws shoe which hits through the glass and the announcer*

Announcer: X___x

[After the tournament]

Driver: Mr. Pegasus what are you doing?

Pegasus: Does this bunny suit look good for the party?

Driver: …

[The package, again]

Grandpa: With all the excitement of the championships, you forgot to open your package, Yugi.

Yugi: zzzz… 

Everyone: *blinking*

Honda: I guess the show was boring to Yugi.

Jou: *walks over to Yugi, shaking his shoulder* Yug, wake up.

*Yugi, Yami switch*

Yami: I will Send You To The Shadow Realm Pathetic Mortal!

Everyone: O___O  *back away*

D: O___o;

[Stupid videotape]

Pegasus: I have heard some terribly interesting things about you Yugi.

Yugi: So? *Switches channel which is Barney*

Pegasus: Barney?! AAAHHHHH!!!

Barney: Give me a hug.

Pegasus: AAAHHHHHH!!!!

Yugi: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Everyone: O___O

[What the heck was that?!]

Pegasus: Right here, right now, we shall hold a special duel.

Yugi: But we're in different places! Oh well. *Pulls Pegasus out of the TV*

Pegasus: *blinking*

Everyone: O___o;

Yugi: *pulls sword out* Let's duel!

Pegasus: O____O

D: Oh boy.

[The Shadow Realm!]

Yugi: Ahh! Everything's dark and cold… I want my Yami.

Yami: I'm right here. *Hugs Yugi*

Yugi: ^___^

Pegasus: Uh…

[It's not that cold]

Yami: You may be good…

Pegasus: I assure you, I am.

Yami: *blinking then shudders* Bad mental image I'll be with Yugi to put a good mental image back in. *leaves set*

D: Yami… *sighs* Break!

Anzu: Why doesn't anybody care about me?

D: Because most don't.

Anzu: You said most that means there's hope for me.

D: -___- whatever, Pegasus get out of that Bunny suit.

Pegasus: NO! *Hops away*

D: O__o

*Breaks over man! *

[Chit Chat]

Pegasus: I know every move you'll make, before you can even make it!

Yami: Yeah, well what am I doing tonight?

Pegasus: *reads mind* O.O I didn't know Yugi-boy can be so flexible.

Yami: ^___^ I know.

Yugi: *blushing knowing what they are going to do tonight*

D: ……………………………….cut.

[Yappity Yappity ding dang dong]

Pegasus: This dark dimension we're in is known as the "Shadow Realm."

Yami: Duh! I've drove people insane here. *Watches Ushio still running away from the giant worms*  -____-;

[Too much talking dammit!]

Pegasus: Tell me, Yugi, do you believe there is magic in these cards?

Yami: Magic? Like this? *Summons Blue Eyes*

Pegasus: O___O Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Yami: And he says he can read minds.

[GAME!]

Yami: I have to counterattack Silver Fang! *White Fang appears*

Pegasus + Yami: O___o

Yugi: Where's Fang?

D: Uh oh.

*Different set*

Wendy: AHHH! Why is White Fang Bigger and meaner?!

Fang: ;___; Where's Yugi and Yami-sama? *Howls*

[How the heck do I remember those old episodes?!]

Pegasus: Five thousand years ago a powerful pharaoh locked the magic of the Shadow Games away.

Yami: I know and it really strained my back.

Pegasus: O___o

Yugi: Poor Yami. *Rubs Yami's back*

Yami: -^___^-

D: ___ Yami…

[Yami put a card down *gasps*]

Yami: I figured out your little game, Pegasus. You may be able to see the cards in my hand, but you can't see the cards I pull from the deck.

Pegasus: And why not?

Yami: It's a new deck I haven't memorized them.

Pegasus: You haven't?! X___x

[A card…]

Yami: My next card is the Dark Magician… did I even look at the card.

D: Who cares it's stacked anyway.

Yami: *gasp* you stacked my deck you shall die!

Yugi: Yami it's for the show, don't kill anyone.

Yami: Oh all right.

D: -___-;

[He looks at the card]

Yami: I attack your combo with the Celtic Guardian.

Kisho: *does a dance* I'm on TV!

Everyone: O__o;

D: *looks threw scripts* Is he even suppose to be here?

[No!]  
  
Yami: But that's impossible! The Faceless Mage doesn't have a Dark Magic attack… hey wait why doesn't it? It's a dark monster.

D: Yami?

Yami: Yes.

D: Shut up!

Yami: Okie Dokie arty chokie! 

D: O.o;

[Ten seconds]

Yami: Time's not up just yet, Pegasus, and you've left your Faceless Mage vulnerable to a physical assault, which I'll do with the Summoned Skull I drew… this is stupid this speech is making me purposely lose.

D: So?

Yami: I never lose! * Summoned Skull (Saitou) kills Faceless Mage* I win!

D: -___-

[Yami's a sore loser]

Pegasus: You presume I'm giving you a choice in the matter, but I'm not. *Pulls back hair and hears a gasp* what?

Yami: *shrugs*

Yugi: *sniffs* that eye freaks me out.

Bakura: Ha! Yugi's a sissy! O___O Uh… I mean…

Yami: ___ you're dead Tomb robber!!

Bakura: Ahhhhhhh!! *Runs away*

Yami: *chases him*

D: -____- yamis…

[The Soul!]

Yugi: *clutches TV* Grandpa! Grandpa! Wait a second I get the place to myself. Yami and I'll be all alone.

D: Yugi!

Yugi: What?

D:….cut. 

*Later*

D: Get out of here! *Pushes everyone out* Crazy actors complain too much.

Kisho: I didn't get to be in it very long.

D: Shut up Kisho!

Kisho (if you forgot he's the C.G.) Hmph!


	3. Journey to the Duelist Kingdom

**Episode 3: Journey to the Duelist Kingdom**

[Yugi stands on a rooftop, surrounded by a high fence, looking out at the sunset]

Yugi: How did I get into this mess? 

Kisho: *shrugs*

Yugi: O__o; Why are you here?!

Kisho: *shrugs*

[Kisho you're giving me a headache]

Yugi: What could Pegasus possibly want with _me? And could it have something to do with my Millennium Puzzle?_

Pegasus: *from a far* What do you think?!

Yugi: O__o;; uh…

Yami: Hey Pegasus!

Pegasus: What?!

Yami: *throws a biology textbook very far*

THUD!

Pegasus: Ow!

D: YAMI!!

Yami: What?

[That was odd…]

Yugi: I'll beat Pegasus at his own game! ...whatever that is.

Pegasus: My game is Hop-scotch!

Yugi: *blinking* Why are you yelling from so far away?!

Pegasus: I'm bored!

D: Stop it you stupid gay voiced freak! 

[The tape… dun, dun, dun!]

Jou: Wonder who this is from.

*puts tape in and see a really X rated scene of Yami and Yugi*

Jou: O___O

D: WTF?! YUGI!!

Yugi: *looking innocent of course* What?

D: Argh!

[The tape starts playing, showing Joey's sister]

Shizuka: I can't believe it's been six years since we've seen each other. It's amazing how time can fly. I'm sending you this video just so that you don't forget your little sister's face. It seems like I'm running out of time.

Jou: Wait, isn't she the one getting blind, so, how can I forget her face? *scratches head*

D: He does have a point.

Yugi: Jounouchi actually has something there, which is really, really rare.

Everyone: *nods*

Jou: Hey! You say'n I'm slow!

Everyone: *shakes head*

Yamis, Hikaris and Seto: *nods vigorously*

Jou: -___-

[Yugi walks home and finds an envelope stuck in the door]

Yugi: Huh? What's this? *opens it* It's from Pegasus! *pulls out one of the cards and gasps* It's an invitation to the tournament at Duelist Kingdom!

Yami: *blinks* Wow… taking out the cards on your first try.

Yugi: Well, it couldn't have been that hard.

Yami: With it crammed into the door?

Yugi: *thinks then shrugs* I don't know.

Yami: And don't you think the mail lady looks like Anzu?

Yugi: *blinks then sees the mail lady skipping by smiling and then hits a street pole* Hmm, you're right.

D: What the heck is all this?!

Kisho: *shrugs*

D: __ I want to hurt you.

[Kisho stop it!]

Anzu: A tournament at Duelist Kingdom? Isn't that an island?

Everyone: *stares at her*

Anzu: What?

Yugi: How would you know if it's an island?

Anzu: Cause the petit angel told me! *poses*

Everyone: O__o;;

Yugi: /Yami I think you gave her too much drugs/

Yami: *looks through Yugi's eyes* //Nah//

[Drugs! Wonder where he got them…]

Anzu: But you can't go. It could be dangerous.

Yugi: I would rather have a shark eat me than you coming along.

Anzu: Yugi! That's mean!

Yugi: Duh! Kumquat! 

Jou: Yug you have got to stop watching "All that!"

Yugi: Um, let me think about it, No!

D: Yugi…

[It's All That!]

Honda: I still can't believe it. Pegasus used some kind of weird spell to grab your grandpa's soul away.

Yugi: It wasn't a spell it was his left eye.

Honda: How would you know?

Yugi: I'm Yugi I know everything.

Everyone: O___o;

D: O…kay…

[Pegasus this, Pegasus that, blah]

Honda: Now he's toying with you, forcing you to duel in the tournament.

Yugi: So? All the perfect way to steal his soul!

Everyone: O.o;;

Ryou: Has Yugi been hanging around with you yami?

Bakura: Not that I know of.

[Honda is easily distracted] 

Honda: *picks up a pair of cards* Hey, Yugi, check this out. According to this card, the tournament winner takes the grand prize of three million dollars!

Yugi: *eyes Honda* How would you know from just a picture on a card?

Honda: Um… *runs away*

Yugi: ^___^

D: Yugi stop messing with people's brains!

Yugi: *gasps* People have brains?!

D: -____-

[Jou snags the Money card] 

Jou: *wonderingly* Three million in cold cash.

Yugi: Hey! *takes card back* That's mine stealer! *hits him with a history textbook*

Jou: X___x

D: Aren't you going to do anything Seto?

Seto: Are you kidding? I don't want to mess with Yugi or his yami.

D: __ wimp.

[Yugi really likes the roof… I bet he tried to fly off it]

Yugi: Jou, what are you doing up here?

Jou: Is something wrong with me being here?

Yugi: Yes!

Jou: ;__; Why are you so mean? You used to be really nice.

Yugi: Because I'm horny!

Jou: O.o

Yugi: And this is Yami and my special place.

Jou: O.o; *leaves quickly*

[Yugi's a naturally sensitive guy. Yeah right!]

Yugi: What's with you?

Jou: Oh, nothin'. I'm just thinkin' about a whole lot of stuff.

Yugi: That isn't much.

Jou: ……

*one hour*

Jou: ……

*two hours*

Jou:…….

Yugi: *playing with a yo-yo*

*5 hours*

Jou:……

Yugi: *making out with Yami*

*10 hours*

Jou:…hey! That wasn't nice!

Yugi: *left a long time ago*

Jou:……

[Man! Jounouchi's slow! Took about what, 18 hours! Sheesh!]

Jou: One way or another, I'll help you beat Pegasus!

Yugi: *laughs and sits by him* That really means a lot to me, Jou. I'm glad you're my friend.

Jou: Yeah, "friends." *they giggle* Remember the first time we met?

Yugi: I'll never forget it. It was all because of the Millennium Puzzle.

Yami: It was? 

Yugi: Either that or bad karma.

Jou: ……

Yugi: Oh no not again. Let's go Yami.

Yami: Right.

D: Jounouchi… Jounouchi!!! *sighs*

Jou: ……

[More stuff… um, yeah]

Yugi: The way Grandpa explained it to me, the Puzzle was originally found in some Egyptian ruins. My grandpa gave it to me and kinda dared me to solve it.

Jou: Really?

Yugi: Either it was my grandpa or the voice that keeps telling me to kill and kill again.

Jou: *edges away from Yugi*

[Yugi likes shiny things and I do too] 

Yugi: It was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen. As soon as I touched it, I knew it was special.

Yami: Aww, he thinks I'm special.

Anzu: I think you're special too Yamikins!

Yami: ……

Yugi: __ bitch!

Everyone: O___O

Yugi: ___ What?!

Everyone: *looks away*

Yugi: Hmph! Hey I found a wrench!

Maximilian: Hey that's my wrench! (From Dark Cloud 2, I love that game!)

Yugi: Can I use it?

Maximilian: *blinks then sees Anzu drooling* Um, sure.

Yugi: ^__^ *throws the wrench at Anzu*

Anzu: X___x

Yami: *blinks then glomps Yugi* My hero!

D: Yami are you okay?

Yami: *blinks some more* I… don't… know…

Everyone: O__o;;

[Continuing on...]

Yugi: I made a wish on the Puzzle. I asked it to give me a real friend, and I think the Puzzle came through for me. That was when I met you and Tristan.

Jou: Really?

Yugi: Not really I also found out about Yami before and I let him make Ushio insane.

Jou: O__o

Yami: Yeah stupid big ugly guy! Mwhahahahahahahaha!!

Yugi: I even have pictures of him sucking his thumb!

Jou: Really?

Yugi: Yep!

Jou: Mokuba gave me pictures of Seto doing that.

Yami: O__O Really?! Where?!

Jou: *shows pictures*

Y+Y: *laughing insanely*

Seto: Jounouchi!

Jou: O__O Um, bye!

[At the dock] 

Saruwatari: Attention, all duelists. Welcome to this event sponsored by Industrial Illusions. You received with your invitation the star chips that will grant you entry into this contest.

*most people in the crowd look at each other than run back home to get their star chips*

Yugi: *blinks* Bunch of bakas.

D: Yugi that isn't nice.

Yugi: So?

D: -__- Nevermind.

Yugi: ^__^ Okay!

[There's a commotion down by the boat] 

Man: Hey, you! Get out of here! Only official contestants are allowed on board.

Jou: How do you know I'm not official?

Man: Because the official duelists aren't trying to sneak on board through the lower hatches. *sees Yami sneaking in* Hey!

Yami: What?

Man: Only official contestants are allowed on board!

Yami: *shows him the star chips*

Man: O__o Than why are you trying to sneak in?

Yami: *shrugs* Wanted to know if there was room for my aibou and I to get together. *grins*

Everyone: O___o;

Yugi: *blushes*

[Yugi tries to convince the bouncers that Joey should be allowed on the ship]

Yugi: But Jou has a star chip, didn't he tell you?

Jou: I do?

Yugi: No. Bye!

Jou: …

Man: That was odd…

[Yugi give him the one, two!]

Yugi: According to this card, a star chip is proof that one is a duelist.

Man: Hmm. That may be, but all duelists are given two star chips. You'll be at a disadvantage

Yugi: Who says?! *kicks Man in the private area then repeatedly kicks him in the guts*

Jou: O___O;;

[*blinks* Or a three, four, five… ouch that gotta hurt ^^ good thing I'm not a guy]

Yugi: I'm glad they let you on board, Jou.

Jou: Only because you sacrificed one of your star chips for me.

Yugi: Right… *takes the star chip back and runs away*

Jou: *blinking*

[Chat, chat, chat] 

Jou: But if any of the other players find out we only have one star chip each, they could really try to take advantage of us.

Yugi: Then be quiet about it.

Mai: *walks over* Hey, guys. What were you talking about?

Yugi: Nothing you damn slut!

Mai: O__O

Jou: Well, he's got ya there ya do look like one.

Yami: *nods*

Mai: O___O;;  Where'd he come from?

Yugi: None of your business so shoo.

D: O__o; shoo…?

[Jou makes a fuss over rooming]

Man: You again? We cut you a break, and now you're causing more trouble? Do you want to get thrown out of here?

Yugi: Will you shut up or I'll throw you out!

Man: AHHH! It's the crazy kid!

Other man: O__o;;  *sighs* Try and throw me out then if you can.

*scene change to the Other man being thrown over board*

[Ick Weevil… squish him!] 

Weevil: Aren't you that kid Yugi?

Yugi: Uh, yeah. And you're...

Jou: Weevil and Rex!

Weevil: We are? I've been trying to find out our names like forever.

Everyone: O.o;;

Rex: Like yah!

Everyone: O.o;;;

Weevil: And you're cute. *eyes Yugi*

Yugi: O____O  /YAMI!!/

Yami: *switches with Yugi* __

*scene changes and you can see Weevil being thrown over board*

Other man: Hey were you thrown by that kid, too?

Weevil: X__x

[Yugi is congratulating Weevil on his big win. Joey isn't being so supportive]

Jou: Well, this time, Yugi and I are gonna take the tournament. Right, Yugi?

Yugi: Me yes but I don't know about you.

Jou: ;___; Yugi….

Yugi: XP 

Jou: ;___;

Weevil: I still think you're cute.

Yugi: O___O

Yami: *switches with Yugi* ___

*scene changes with Weevil hanging out at the very end of the bow of the boat by his underwear*

[Weevil's modest about his achievements]

Weevil: I guess I can't really call myself the Champion until I defeat the duelist who beat Kaiba and I still think you're cute.

Yugi: O____O

Yami: *switches _again _with Yugi* ______

*scenes changes and you can see Weevil being thrown into the fire of the boiler room*

[Yami is very protective and possessive and it's funny when he does all those things to Weevil every time he hits on Yugi]

Weevil: Let me tell you a little secret. It's something none of the other players know about the games yet.

Yugi: Oh, isn't that cheating?

Weevil: So?

Yugi: Can you tell me?

Weevil: Of course, cutie.

Yugi: O_____O

Yami: *switches AGAIN with Yugi* ____ Stupid guy never learns!

*scene changes to see Weevil tied at the end of the boat and painfully being dragged by it*

[Finally! Stupid Weevil trying to take Yami's koi]

Anzu: Hey isn't that Ryou?

Honda: Yeah looks like him.

*Ryou looking out at the sea then he yelps as arms wrap around his waist and later you hear moaning*

Anzu + Honda: O____o;;

[A discussion about Yugi's defeat of Kaiba using Exodia]

Weevil: *breathless* Could I possibly see those legendary cards?

Yugi: I don't see why not. *pulls the cards out of the box* Just be careful with them, okay, or I'll rip your beating heart out of your body and grind it through a cheese grate and put it on pizza and force it down your throat.

Weevil: O____O

Jou: Yug… you're scaring me.

Yugi: Really?! *bows several times* Thank you, thank you.

Everyone: O.o;

[Okay… Yugi…]

Weevil: Say good-bye to Exodia! *tosses the cards*

Yugi: …

Weevil: *blinks* aren't you going to do something?

Yugi: *coughs then glares at Weevil*

*scene changes and you see Weevil thrown over board… again*

[I hate Weevil's laugh __]

Weevil: Now there's no one who can challenge me!

Yugi: *cracks his knuckles*

Weevil: And what are you going to do, lovely?

Yugi: … yami…

Yami: *switches with Yugi* ___ Stupid ass!

*scene changes to Weevil being through right to the sharks*

[Jou decides to take a refreshing swim]

Yugi: Jou, they're not worth drowning over!

Jou: Don't worry, Yugi!

Yugi: …okay!

Jou: -____-

[Jou submerges for a second] 

Jou: Current sure is strong...

Yugi: But it looks like you're swimming with the current!

Jou: …

Yami: *leaning on the railing* Jou, you are not very bright!

Jou: …

Yugi: Oh no, he's doing it again. Want to kick someone out of their room, Yami?

Yami: Sure. *follows Yugi inside*

Jou: …

D: …I need a new job.

[Yugi dives in to help out his friend] 

Yugi: Jou, hold on!

Jou: Yugi you don't need to dive in!

Yugi: … Okay! *walks back in and comes back throwing an anchor at Jou*

Jou: O____O *anchor falls on him and brings him underwater* X___x

Everyone: O__O;;;

Yugi: That's what that thing does.

Everyone: O___o;;;;;;;;;

[After the show]

Jou: Yugi you almost killed me!

Yugi: …point?

Jou: O__o;;

D: Please! Please! Just get out!!

Yami: *shrugs and pulls Yugi out of the studio*

Yugi: BYEBYE!!

D: Where's Bakura and Ryou?

Honda: I think they're still on the ship and um…

D: Never mind.

Weevil: Where's the beautiful and lovely Yugi?

D: O___O;; 

Yami: *appears beside Weevil and hits him in the head with a golf club*

D: Um, okay… I'm leaving!


	4. The Ultimate Great Moth

Episode 4: The Ultimate Great Moth 

[Standing at the bow of the ship.]

Jou: Man, this Duelist Kingdom looks like a pretty big place, Yugi.

Yugi: I guess…

*explosions then half the island breaks apart and sinks*

Everyone: Oo;

Yugi: Damn! I wanted to get the whole island.

Everyone: Oo;; *backs away*

[Everyone gets ready to disembark, and looks out at the shore]

Jou: Wow, check out those suits.

Anzu: Purple shades, purple ties...

Yugi: I guess Pegasus likes purple.

Jou: Purple is a scary color.

Yugi: Really… *stares at Jou with his big violet eyes*

Jou: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

Everyone: -___-;

[Anzu looks down at the nice, long drop next to the ramp on the island]

Anzu: Huh? What's that?!

Yugi: Huh? What do you see, Anzu?

Anzu: *points* It looked like... Ryou.

Honda: And he seems to be rummaging around…

Jou: …nude…

Anzu: …with someone that looks like him…

Jou: Where's Yugi? *looks around*

Honda: …near Ryou…doing the same thing…

D: O___O; holy crap! CUT! CUT! CUTTTTT!

[More Bakura conversation] 

Honda: Again with this Ryou stuff?

Jou: Where is he, Anzu?

Anzu: That's two times I've seen him now, but he's not there anymore. Maybe it's all in my head.

Jou: I hope you don't have a yami than. Because that'd be bad for us… two Anzus. *shudders*

Anzu: Hey!

Jou: Well it's true!

Anzu: -___-

Yugi: Let's all get along before Ryou does his thing with Bakura and in turn making me horny.

Everyone: Oo;;

[Pegasus welcomes all the duelists with honor and pleasure]

Pegasus: You stand before me the world's greatest duelists! Of course, most of you are really rather pathetic, but that just reflects duelists in general.

Yami: Don't I know it.

Yugi: Yami…

Yami: What?

Yugi: I think he's talking about us…

Yami: Oh, well I'm just going to kill him now.

Yugi: Okay, be sure to sharpen the hatchet!

[The fireworks go off, but "accidentally" send sparks raining down on the crowd]

Everyone: O___O ahhhh!

Yugi: Yah! *dances around*

Everyone: Oo;

Yami: *swings Yugi around*

Random kid: Where'd he coming from?! *gets kicked in the face by Yugi's swinging legs*

Everyone: Oo;;

D: What the heck?! Yugi did you plan this?

Yugi: *blink, blink, blinkblink*

D: -____- nevermind

[The group has, indeed, just spotted Weevil]

Yugi:  Weevil, I challenge you to a duel!

Weevil: Really? To a duel in bed? *bats eyelashes*

Yugi: *pales then whimpers* Yami…

Yami: -____- you never give up… baka

*scene changes and you can see Weevil in some type of cocoon hanging upside down in a tree*

Weevil: Mmmm!

 [Weevil, Weevil, Weevil you dumb, dumb idiot]

Yugi: It's time you answer for what you did on the boat, Weevil.

Jou: Want me to break his legs?

Yugi: ^__^ Sure!

Weevil: Oo;

Jou: *grins and cracks his knuckles*

Weevil: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Yugi: Wuss!

Weevil: But I'm your wuss!

Yugi: -____-

*Jou chases Weevil with Yami close behind him*

[Weevil's a dork!] 

Yami: Huh. All right, Weevil, time to find out if you're as good at dueling as you are at running away.

Weevil: Was I simply running away, or cleverly weaving you into my web?

Yami: Oh, oh, I know! Running away!

Weevil: Oo;

Yami: What do I win?

Everyone: Oo;;

  


[What big arenas] 

Yami: O___O What are those?!

Jou: Uh, arenas?

Yami: Oh, thank you humble slave.

Everyone: Oo;;

Yugi: *in soul room and smacks his head*

[Killer Needle vs. Mammoth Graveyard]

Yami: This massive monster will match your annoying insect point for point.

Yugi: I don't get that. Why would an insect match a zombie mammoth?

Yami: Hmm, good point… *works his magic and makes his monster stronger*

Weevil: What the?! You can't do that!

Yami: XP *points finger with one hand and other hand rapidly waves at him*

Everyone: Oo;;

Jou: Man, he's being naughty!

Everyone: Oo;;;

[Insult I guess] 

Weevil: I guess you just weren't listening when Pegasus said that this tournament would have exciting new surprises in store for us.

Yami: Huh? What were you saying?

Weevil: I said I screwed Yugi!

Yami: …

*scene changes with Weevil stuck inside the arena between cogs and screws*

Honda: Ouch. That's gotta hurt.

[Weevil plays the Cocoon of Evolution]

Weevil: Isn't it beautiful?! Just like my little Yugi?

Yami: ARRGH!! *jumps over to the other side and pummels Weevil*

Jou: Hey, this is better than a duel!

Honda: Wish we had popcorn…

Anzu: They shouldn't be fighting.

Jou + Honda: …

*scene changes with Anzu tied to a tree and Honda and Jou throwing mud pies at her and Yami is still beating up Weevil in the background*

[Liar! Liar!] 

Yami: *thinking* If what Weevil says is true, I'd better act fast.

Weevil: *thinking* Little does Yugi know that the Moth takes but three turns to evolve. He will still be only preparing his attack when it breaks forth! Mwahahahahahahaha!

Yami: Wait… to bring out a Great Moth it's only four turns.

Weevil: Uh…

Yami: Liar! I play Raigeki!

Weevil: O___O

Yami: I summon Black Magician to attack you directly!

Weevil: O_____O *faints*

Yami: XP

[Gaia the Fierce Knight cracks open the Cocoon, but, sadly, does not kill the Larva Pupa]

Yami: But I thought it took five turns.

Weevil: *laughs* So you stopped him one turn early. He's still strong enough to beat you.

Yami: Unless… hmm…

Weevil: What…?

*later Weevil is being chased by his own real moth*

Yami: Mwhahahahaha! DIE! Go Great Moth! And you say he's going to beat me! Ha!

Jou: How'd he get control of it?

Yugi: Brain Control. Duh! Jou, learn! *thwacks him in the head*

Jou: ;___; You are so hurtful.

Yugi: ^___^ Thank you!

Everyone: O___o;

[A quick lecture]

Yami: You play dishonestly, so you expect the same of your opponents, but I duel with honor, Weevil, and that makes all the difference.

Jou: You play with honor? Since when?

Yami: …hmmm, is the later 1400s

Everyone: Oo;;

Yugi: Play who? You were in the puzzle than.

Yami: With Kyle my talking wine glass. ^__^

Everyone: Oo;;;;;;;;;

Yugi: *slaps his head* Yami… no more drinking for you.

Yami: ;__; aww…

[The final blow]

Yami: Summoned Skull, Lightning Strike! *the Great Moth gets struck, crackles with electricity, then falls to the ground in a burning heap* It's over. I've won.

Anzu: *looks at the Great Moth with some disgust* 

Yugi: *looks at Anzu in disgust then turns to the moth* Isn't it supposed to disappear? And I don't think it should smell…

Jou: O__O It's real ahhhhhh run away! *runs and hits a tree* X__x

Honda: Poor,  poor sap.

[Yami puts his new star chips in his glove with great satisfaction]

Yami: There. Three star chips so far. But I still need to win seven more. Ten star chips will gain me entry into that castle, where they're holding my grandfather prisoner and where I'll battle Pegasus once and for all! But first I need to get laid!

Everyone: O__o;;;

Yugi: I'll take care of that! *somehow carries Yami deep into the forest*

Everyone: O___o;;;;

*hear moaning*

Eveyone: O____O;;;;;

*hear a different set of moaning (Bakura and Ryou)*

Everyone: O__________O;;;;;;;;;;

D: …kill me.

K: Hehehehe Yami and Yugi doin it in a tree F * * * * * G! And Bakura and Ryou too!

Jou: Oo; Where'd you come from?

K: Um… *runs away with a video cam to show the world*

Honda: I think I saw her here a few episodes back.

D: She videotapes the bloopers.

Jou: Won't she show it on public television?

D: Knowing her yes.

Everyone: O__O Ahhhhhhhh!!

D: *sighs* Actors…


End file.
